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About Deviant Brianna LeeUnited States Groups :iconmakes-her-a-home: Makes-Her-A-Home
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It was a lazy day, on the planet below. Every wind was calm, in all the corners of the earth. It was such a rare sight that it was worthy of attention. One wind flowed easily into the next, and there was calm, where there was usually chaos. It was the sort of perfect weather over the entire globe that could easily be seen as 'peace on Earth,' at least from a celestial distance. Many thought that it was hard to not see God's hand at work, on such a rare, beautiful day. Some even voiced this, despite the aching void that haunted many of them, in missing their father.

An angel leaned against an out-facing wall, gazing down into the perfection of the weather, but it wasn't the stillness that had his focus. His folded arms provided a pedestal for his chin to rest, as he watched the humans, and one, in particular. The humans had long been a source of fascination for Castiel. Father's favourite children, they fit so much complication into such a short space of time. So much feeling.  It was amazing to him, however strange that seemed to some of his brethren.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up, giving a brief smile that lasted only as long as his gaze. "Hello, Zachariah."

"Hello, Brother," he answered. He had been watching Castiel for a short while, now. For a long, silent moment, they stood together in silence, Zachariah taking in the clarity of the Earth's unusually perfect weather.

"The whole world is calm. It has to have been over ten thousand years since we've seen a sky like this." It was a strange anomaly, but there was something both serene and majestic about it.

"Ten thousand, three hundred and twenty-four," Castiel answered, and Zachariah felt half of his mouth lift into a smile. 'Leave it to Castiel,' he thought.

"They've changed a lot, in that time, haven't they?" he asked, noticing that Castiel wasn't looking at the sky, but through it.  He had to be watching the humans, again.  They had changed, of course, but it was less of an observation than it was a catalyst to conversation. He was trying to figure out where the younger angel's head was, and although they didn't speak of it often, Castiel's fascination with the mud monkeys was known among a handful of those in Zachariah's circle. The elder angel didn't loathe them, like a few of his brethren, and he didn't exactly think on them with ambivalence. He knew their purpose, and he recognized that, respected it, even, for what it was. But he didn't favour them in the way that Castiel did.  Zachariah believed it to be some child-like innocence.  Something that most of the archangels, sullied from battle, had lost, over time.  

"Tremendously," Castiel mused in reply, his eyes still set on the creatures below. "But not in any of the ways that matter."

Zachariah's curiosity was nearly piqued enough to ask what Castiel meant, but he decided against it, since he didn't really care all that much about God's precious apes.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" Castiel asked.  Zachariah narrowed his gaze, to see what it was that had his brother's focus. A human by the name of Dean Winchester was wiping a tear from his eye, giving a laugh in relief. A red streak marked the path the tear had taken, but Dean didn't seem to take any notice of this. One arm was wrapped tightly around his brother. His breathing brother. Dean looked as though he wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or scream at the skies, but he settled for what felt, to his brother, like the tightest hug in human history. Sam Winchester, the younger of the brothers, coughed, saying he couldn't breathe. They both sort of laughed, and Dean loosened his grip.  A moment later, he shoved him a little, but they both had a look in their eyes that said they'd rather be embracing each other.  Another battle won, another hell survived (figuratively), and they survived it, together.

"Yes, he is," Zachariah said astutely, his head between contemplating their purpose, and realizing the implications of that focused gaze. Castiel said nothing. He only almost smiled. It was barely there, and then it was gone.  It wasn't an admission, or so Castiel believed, but it wasn't a denial of his fascination.

"We'll speak later. I have other matters to attend to."

Castiel nodded to Zachariah, and after his brother left, he returned his gaze to the Earth, below.


The small collection of faction heads which sought to resolve the apocalypse had gathered together in an unassuming room.  Rooms, like many other things in Heaven, were both tangible and illusory.  A strangeness that is common place to the angelic, but nearly incomprehensible to the mortal mind.   Zachariah had called the meeting together, knowing that they would do whatever they thought it would take to bring their father home.  His head was muddled with his conflict, searching for solutions.  His concern brewed his gut until it became worry, agitation, and finally, nearly desperation.

"You don't understand!" Zachariah shot into the group that had gathered. They weren't recognizing the severity of the situation, and he had to get through to them.  "He feels love for the human. Actual love." The argument that he merely presided over the bloodlines, or 'kings,' as some had said, and that he is drawn to their pain seemed to appease too many, and Zachariah had to make them understand.

"We all feel love," Arariel pointed out defensively, as if his brethren were likened to stone. Zachariah suspected that his interjection had more to do with his own link to the humans than to the supposed attack on the character of the angels. Arariel took pity on some starving fishermen, and helped them catch a decent bounty. Perhaps he thought it would please God. But to this day, people still pray to Arariel to catch bigger fish.

"Not like that, you don't," Zachariah returned. "He loves him purely. Without compulsion, without reason. Without it being, for lack of a better term, hard-wired into his head. He loves like they do, I think."  It was his perception of the situation, and he felt certain that it was correct.  Zachariah didn't think much of the way that the humans loved, and it was clear in his tone. He found it messy. "You can see it in his eyes. It's dangerous."

"I hardly think love is dangerous," Jegudiel said. "Love is a beautiful thing. It heals. It brings mercy and kindness into being. I mean, loving a human is certainly perverse, but I hardly think it can be called dangerous."

Zachariah wore an expression that said that he didn't have time for Jegudiel's wishy-washy nonsense. He didn't even think that Jegudiel had any place in these meetings. He would rather the other angel keep after the archers, and stay out of actually important things, but he knew they needed Jegudiel with them, and if anyone in their collective was understood the idea of the love, it was him. He decided against telling his fellow angel that he was an idiot, but he couldn't let the discussion stand where it was. He opened his mouth to rebut, but Eremiel interjected.

"Look at the things we have done, in the name of love? Look at what we do to each other!" Eremiel's eyes were lit with the intensity of his concern, and Zachariah couldn't help but to to feel vindicated in his position, now that someone else saw it.

Zachariah picked up from Eremiel's statement, as he could see his brother's words sinking in, for some of them. "We serve, because we love. We serve Our Father, and we serve Heaven's will, because of our love. What do you think would happen, if Castiel ever loved them, or that one human man man as much as he loves Our Father? Or the rest of us?"

Hadraniel had very little affection for the mud monkeys. He only ever helped one, at the behest of God. And while he grew to like the one, somewhat, the rest were still unevolved vermin in his eyes. Some tried, but many didn't even manage that, and watching them squabble their short lives away grew tiresome. He hadn't paid much attention to the lot of them in ages. Not until now, when the prophecy was coming to a head. He stood, which was an impressive sight. He was the tallest of the angels there, by quite a lot. In fact, in all of heaven, he was second only to one other, but Sandalphon, said to be the fraternal twin of Metatron, was not in attendance, in this meeting. He had not been seen in an age, and was not a part of this council. "Do you really think such a thing is possible?" he asked, his voice as impressive as his stature. Even when expressing the most minor of thoughts, he had a deep, resounding, booming sort of voice. "They're unimpressive, at best."

"Not only is it possible, it has happened, in the past. Does no one remember Penenuel? The abomination that came of that? And Penenuel wasn't the only. You know that." Zachariah's eyes were set and serious. "Forget him loving that man as much. What if he comes to love his human more?"

Nearly all of them understood that Dean Winchester was going to die, by the time that Michael was finished with him. Any human would struggle to sustain his presence within them, and even a Winchester wouldn't fair that much better. And they knew that getting the Winchesters to fall in line was going to be difficult, anyway, because Dean was irreverent, and didn't care for the bigger picture. Especially not as much as he, himself, cared for one man. His brother was his whole world, and the ape was likely to fight tooth and nail, to keep Lucifer out of Sam. They had their work cut out for them, for sure. Castiel being in love with the human would only complicate things.

"If Castiel should come to love that human more than he does us, or God, who, then, do you think he will serve?!" he asked pointedly. Zachariah could see the realization breaking over their faces, one by one. He could see them understanding his concerns, and internalizing them. "We cannot use him. We cannot send Castiel."

Remiel, usually the first to give an opinion, finally spoke, at this. "But Joshua said-"

"I don't care what Joshua said!" Zachariah shot, cutting Remiel off mid-sentence. "If God wants to send Castiel, he can tell me, himself!"

This earned a few gasps, and more looks of shock. His irreverence bordered on blasphemy, and he knew it. "I apologize," he decided to add softly, but not because he really meant it. He just wanted to soothe things over. Most everyone got over it rather quickly, because while few would voice it like that, nearly all of them felt that way. They didn't understand why their father wouldn't just talk to them. Why he wouldn't just come back to heaven. They would do anything to see him return, and that was exactly what they were trying to do, then. Stop the fighting, and bring him home, at all costs. An apocalypse was a small price to pay.

"Remiel is right, though," Arariel interjected, and Eremiel nodded in agreement. "If it is God's will that he retrieve Dean, and we do not send him, Father will not forgive us. He won't come home." They all felt the gravity of those words.

"Then, what can we do?" asked Hadraniel, his voice strong even when he tried for humble and small.

Selaphiel stood, making a rather less impressive showing than Hadraniel, but every head turned. Selaphiel spoke so rarely that when he did, it tended to be of great importance. "I know what to do." Even though it was impressive in its own right, his voice was a gentle one.  It was oddly soft, but full of purpose. Few would have questioned him, at all, but he explained his idea. When all of them were in agreement, he gave a silent, solemn nod, and he left, to seek Castiel.



The gentle breezes turned agitated. Aggressive. Cold winds crashed against warmer ones, and storms peppered the surface of the orb below. Hail crashed down in pebbles over South Dakota, but Castiel's human was safe and warm, inside. Untroubled by the weather, Dean Winchester stretched out on a sofa that was threadbare in a couple of spots, but somehow still remarkably comfortable. The man wrapped his lips around the mouth of a beer bottle. Castiel wasn't quite certain why, but he found the image of it beautiful. Not quite poetic, but something else. Something stirring, almost. The beer came away, and the man was smiling. Laughing, nearly. He exchanged aggressive, slanderous monikers with his little brother, but neither seemed upset. They wore laughter on their faces, as if they had said something worm and affectionate. The older man, the one who owned the home, shook his head at the pair of them, and muttered something under his breath, but there was still a glimmer of pride and mirth in his otherwise hardened eyes.

Castiel enjoyed watching their interactions. The way that they seemed to be saying one thing and meaning another often puzzled him, but he liked the warm and fuzzy feelings he derived from watching their tender moments. It was one of those things that had always charmed him about humans... he thought... But this human, and his immediate group, they just made him incredibly happy. He would have been content to watch them all evening. To watch night descend over the human, and to see exhaustion carry him off to sleep. The angel often imagined soothing his brow with a gentle touch, although the precise reason why he did so always eluded him.

Castiel?" a voice asked, tearing him from his reverie.

The angel lifted his head from his focus, and faced his elder. "Have we met?" he found himself asking. He wasn't sure if this brother was familiar, but he didn't think of himself as important enough to be known by everyone, or even only everyone in positions of leadership. It was a fair bet that any other archangel would know who he was, by valour and reputation, if not personally, but he didn't think that he merited much consideration from the other classes of angels.

A sadness crossed Selaphiel's face. "No, I suppose we haven't," the angel lied softly. "I am Selaphiel. I have a message for you."

Castiel was about to make with pleasantries, before the announcement of a message. Any good angel knew that it was always 'the mission' first, whatever the mission happened to be. It all served the greater purpose. And it all served God. Castiel believed this, and so he stood at attention, ready to receive word.

"We need to you go to Angelic Intelligence, and speak with Naomi," Selaphiel explained.  "She is expecting you."  He stood stiff, with all of the authority and importance of a heavenly mission in his stance, and Castiel nodded. As the archangel departed, Selaphiel gazed over the edge of heaven, pretending to be interested in God's favourite children, his heart heavy, as his mind turned over what he had just done to a brother.

Love Finds A Way (A Supernatural Fiction)
I kind of want to turn this into a full story, but I'm curious to know what people think of it.  It's the beginning of an idea I've been toying with, and though it's currently a short one-shot, I've been writing about the other angels.  It's probably less of a story than a beginning.

Warning: I only use full names of the angels, because they didn't use nicknames until after interacting with Dean and Sam, and it wouldn't have been accurate-ish if I did.

Nods to the origins of the names and the angels.  This is compatible with canon.  Here's hoping it's alright.

Saw a reflection of another soul.
The unknown calls me from within.
Afraid to listen to that glistening whole,
I'm a stranger in my skin.

I am only certain of what I am not,
And I'm not sure where to begin.
When certainty's a luxury I haven't got,
I'm a stranger in my skin.

I am most myself when anybody else.
I've tried to say it, but you do not hear.
I feel at home within a guise.
But you won't realize
That this lie is more sincere.
I am a player on a stage within this hell,
And I have tried to make this clear.
The mirror only tells me lies,
But you won't realize
That we all are players here.

I am mostly what cannot be true.
But truth, they say, will lie within.
If I feel it, does that make it real to you?
No. I'm a stranger in my skin.

What can you know of me that I do not?
You say you're certain, so begin.
When certainty's a luxury I haven't got,
I'm a stranger in my skin.

As certainty's a luxury I haven't got,
I'm a stranger in my skin.
Hey, Stranger.
Quick tongue.
Bring the hurt?
Do it while I'm still young..

You're a Danger?
How fun.
Warning you heard;
You know, you better run.

Put me in my place?
Gonna need a crane.
Baby, I'm high above you.
Hover in my face,
Wanna bring the pain?
Trying to make me hate or love you?

Can I get a read?
Think you got a take?
Don't you know you're playing with fire?
You think I'll concede-
You strong enough to shake
My high wire?  My high wire?

Silver is the tongue.
Silver is the knife.
Bring the hurt?
Baby, not on your life.

Only having fun?
You're in Danger.
Seen and observed;
I know you, Stranger.
Oh, cat and mouse-
Are you confident
You know which role you play?
Shake this old house,
And it comes to dust.
I'd pull the thorn from your paw-
You'd only eat me,
All wounds are raw
When it comes to us.

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall-
I swear to God you look just like me.
I see the master fall,
And I promise that's not all that I see.

The world is changing
From our broken parts-
Fast rearranging.
Bless the nation
That walls in our hearts.

Your cat and mouse-
Are you so sure
You're the predator, dear?
Burn down this house,
Ash, it comes to dust.
I see the fangs in your jaw-
You think you'll eat me,
All wounds are raw
When it comes to us.
Secret Jesus.
Pay for their passage on the river Styx.
Fight harder.
Suffering eases?
Only in the moments when you get your fix.

I see you.
I see you there.
I know you.
I know you care.
Nailed to the cross for another's sins.
Where does one hurt stop, and the next begin?

Open wounds.
Bleeding heart.
Becomes an art.
All we know;
That pain and strife.
It becomes
A way of life.

I see you.
I see you.
Play the god,
You play the master.
My beautiful disaster.

Secret Jesus.
I see your eyes, holy, and I know you.
Fight harder.
Suff'ring never ceases.
They don't hear the words inside the screaming we do.

I feel you.
I feel you there.
I know you.
I know you, bare.
Nailed to the cross for another's sins.
Feel the red trickle over our skins.

I see you.
I see you.
Play the monster,
You play the master.
My beautiful disaster.

Fight harder.
Never ceases.
My martyr.
Secret Jesus.


Brianna Lee
United States
Life is... crazy.  Good and bad.  I don't really know why I'm doing one of these.  Therapeutic, I suppose, and I was told I should, and I don't keep an lj, or anything else, so here goes. haha

Family/money, money/family.  The big struggles. Can't decide which is crazier, right now, but it's not all hectic.  Issues abound, and I feel like I'm drowning, with the family stuff, but child is healthy and brilliant, and that's a blessing.  Crafty, though, which is vexing.  Good with the bad.  Still no heat, but we're working on it.   My mom won't tell me when she runs out of meds, because I have to buy them, so now I'll have to take inventory of her pills.  That's a bit maddening.   And between my brother and my sister, and I don't really know what's going to happen next.  Here's hoping smooth sailing will happen, someday. <_____>

Health is... frustrating.  Chemo ward was less depressing than I thought it would be.  Everyone was really nice.  I got the blood thing mostly fixed.  As much as they could.  No one knows why I'm not getting better.   I have good days,  but I spend a week paying for them.  No one sees that, and I don't really talk about that. Or what's going on.  I didn't think I could.  Sometimes, I still can't.  Not all words are as easy to just say as others.   I don't know.  I keep thinking I'll wake up.  I keep saying I'm too young for this.  For any of it.   I try to stay positive, but I find I only ever get half way to saying it.   The concept of time and limit, it comes up a lot in my head.  I feel it in my chest.  It's heavy.  I don't like being scared, and I don't really know how to handle it, or admit it, or talk about it.  I don't know how to deal with people.  Or pain.   I don't know.  It's frightening, and constant, and I want to be stronger than it, but I'm running out of brave face.  

I miss connections, but sometimes, I think it's a one way thing, so I let it be.  It was a gradual period of discovery, for one source.  I think I knew it for a while, but one day, it became clear.  It was a hard thing to process.  Things get twisted, and reason gets twisted, everything just contorts into something unrecognizable.   Sometimes, I hardly recognize people.  

I missed everyone on here and on the thingies.  I couldn't get onto facespace or proboards, because I had no computer (and pb hates linux phones). Now, I have one, but I can't get on, because it crashes the whole machine.   Everything crashes it.  There are a small handful of sites that don't, and I don't know why that is.  Even my email crashes it.  It's really frustrating.  Massively insufficient ram.  But some bigger ram is coming in the mail, so in a week or two, when it comes, and gets put in for me, I'll be able to get back on.  I'm really looking forward to it, because I really miss everyone, and I feel just terrible for being unable to get on.  I should also be able to make pictures again (which also currently crashes the computer).  I'm excited, because with everything else going on, I need some happiness pie.  :)

I love you, Listener.  Thank you.
  • Mood: Torment
  • Listening to: my heart
  • Drinking: no, but I should be.

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electrico22 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2015
 I miss you brianna how are you and hope you are ok
pleaes awnser me pleaes!!!
ei9 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2015
 thanks for the warm comments Brianna and look forward seeing more from you in the future. God loves you everyday of your life!
JuvenyleChylde Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2015
Thank you!  You're an angel, and your comment makes me smile. :)
sirenabonita Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014
jepegraphics Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014   Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch! Very much appreciated! :)
Odilicious Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch!:)
SingapuraStudio Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thank you so much for the watch! :)
Chrislor Featured By Owner May 10, 2012
Thanks for the fav!
JuvenyleChylde Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013
My pleasure! Love your work!
Stixanimated Featured By Owner May 10, 2012   Filmographer
Welcome to Fillion-Fans! If you create any Nathan related art don't be shy to submit!
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