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About Deviant Member Brianna LeeUnited States Groups :iconmakes-her-a-home: Makes-Her-A-Home
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Deviant for 7 Years
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Saw a reflection of another soul.
The unknown calls me from within.
Afraid to listen to that glistening whole,
I'm a stranger in my skin.

I am only certain of what I am not,
And I'm not sure where to begin.
When certainty's a luxury I haven't got,
I'm a stranger in my skin.

I am most myself when anybody else.
I've tried to say it, but you do not hear.
I feel at home within a guise.
But you won't realize
That this lie is more sincere.
I am a player on a stage within this hell,
And I have tried to make this clear.
The mirror only tells me lies,
But you won't realize
That we all are players here.

I am mostly what cannot be true.
But truth, they say, will lie within.
If I feel it, does that make it real to you?
No. I'm a stranger in my skin.

What can you know of me that I do not?
You say you're certain, so begin.
When certainty's a luxury I haven't got,
I'm a stranger in my skin.

As certainty's a luxury I haven't got,
I'm a stranger in my skin.
Hey, Stranger.
Quick tongue.
Bring the hurt?
Do it while I'm still young..

You're a Danger?
How fun.
Warning you heard;
You know, you better run.

Put me in my place?
Gonna need a crane.
Baby, I'm high above you.
Hover in my face,
Wanna bring the pain?
Trying to make me hate or love you?

Can I get a read?
Think you got a take?
Don't you know you're playing with fire?
You think I'll concede-
You strong enough to shake
My high wire?  My high wire?

Silver is the tongue.
Silver is the knife.
Bring the hurt?
Baby, not on your life.

Only having fun?
You're in Danger.
Seen and observed;
I know you, Stranger.
Oh, cat and mouse-
Are you confident
You know which role you play?
Shake this old house,
And it comes to dust.
I'd pull the thorn from your paw-
You'd only eat me,
All wounds are raw
When it comes to us.

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall-
I swear to God you look just like me.
I see the master fall,
And I promise that's not all that I see.

The world is changing
From our broken parts-
Fast rearranging.
Bless the nation
That walls in our hearts.

Your cat and mouse-
Are you so sure
You're the predator, dear?
Burn down this house,
Ash, it comes to dust.
I see the fangs in your jaw-
You think you'll eat me,
All wounds are raw
When it comes to us.
Secret Jesus.
Pay for their passage on the river Styx.
Fight harder.
Suffering eases?
Only in the moments when you get your fix.

I see you.
I see you there.
I know you.
I know you care.
Nailed to the cross for another's sins.
Where does one hurt stop, and the next begin?

Open wounds.
Bleeding heart.
Becomes an art.
All we know;
That pain and strife.
It becomes
A way of life.

I see you.
I see you.
Play the god,
You play the master.
My beautiful disaster.

Secret Jesus.
I see your eyes, holy, and I know you.
Fight harder.
Suff'ring never ceases.
They don't hear the words inside the screaming we do.

I feel you.
I feel you there.
I know you.
I know you, bare.
Nailed to the cross for another's sins.
Feel the red trickle over our skins.

I see you.
I see you.
Play the monster,
You play the master.
My beautiful disaster.

Fight harder.
Never ceases.
My martyr.
Secret Jesus.
I'll fold myself over you;
Protection from this world.
Drop my wand,
Around which fingers curled.

I lay my shield,
As I lay upon your chest.
I'm weak.
I need

Bit by bit.
Bit by bit, we break our chains.
Bind me in your arms,
As we forgive each other pains.
Bit by bit,
You'll see, we are the same.
Hold me in your arms,
And I'll let go of this game.

You don't have to be
Anything for me,
But a pair of arms before these moments pass.
However it may sting,
I don't expect anything.
Just please don't try to break the looking glass.

I'll fold myself over you,
With what little warmth I bring.
Lay down my head...
Lay down everything.

Lay down your shield,
As I lay upon your chest.
Just breathe.
Just be.


Brianna Lee
United States
Life is... crazy.  Good and bad.  I don't really know why I'm doing one of these.  Therapeutic, I suppose, and I was told I should, and I don't keep an lj, or anything else, so here goes. haha

Family/money, money/family.  The big struggles. Can't decide which is crazier, right now, but it's not all hectic.  Issues abound, and I feel like I'm drowning, with the family stuff, but child is healthy and brilliant, and that's a blessing.  Crafty, though, which is vexing.  Good with the bad.  Still no heat, but we're working on it.   My mom won't tell me when she runs out of meds, because I have to buy them, so now I'll have to take inventory of her pills.  That's a bit maddening.   And between my brother and my sister, and I don't really know what's going to happen next.  Here's hoping smooth sailing will happen, someday. <_____>

Health is... frustrating.  Chemo ward was less depressing than I thought it would be.  Everyone was really nice.  I got the blood thing mostly fixed.  As much as they could.  No one knows why I'm not getting better.   I have good days,  but I spend a week paying for them.  No one sees that, and I don't really talk about that. Or what's going on.  I didn't think I could.  Sometimes, I still can't.  Not all words are as easy to just say as others.   I don't know.  I keep thinking I'll wake up.  I keep saying I'm too young for this.  For any of it.   I try to stay positive, but I find I only ever get half way to saying it.   The concept of time and limit, it comes up a lot in my head.  I feel it in my chest.  It's heavy.  I don't like being scared, and I don't really know how to handle it, or admit it, or talk about it.  I don't know how to deal with people.  Or pain.   I don't know.  It's frightening, and constant, and I want to be stronger than it, but I'm running out of brave face.  

I miss connections, but sometimes, I think it's a one way thing, so I let it be.  It was a gradual period of discovery, for one source.  I think I knew it for a while, but one day, it became clear.  It was a hard thing to process.  Things get twisted, and reason gets twisted, everything just contorts into something unrecognizable.   Sometimes, I hardly recognize people.  

I missed everyone on here and on the thingies.  I couldn't get onto facespace or proboards, because I had no computer (and pb hates linux phones). Now, I have one, but I can't get on, because it crashes the whole machine.   Everything crashes it.  There are a small handful of sites that don't, and I don't know why that is.  Even my email crashes it.  It's really frustrating.  Massively insufficient ram.  But some bigger ram is coming in the mail, so in a week or two, when it comes, and gets put in for me, I'll be able to get back on.  I'm really looking forward to it, because I really miss everyone, and I feel just terrible for being unable to get on.  I should also be able to make pictures again (which also currently crashes the computer).  I'm excited, because with everything else going on, I need some happiness pie.  :)

I love you, Listener.  Thank you.
  • Mood: Torment
  • Listening to: my heart
  • Drinking: no, but I should be.

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ei9 Featured By Owner 4 days ago
 thanks for the warm comments Brianna and look forward seeing more from you in the future. God loves you everyday of your life!
JuvenyleChylde Featured By Owner 4 days ago
Thank you!  You're an angel, and your comment makes me smile. :)
sirenabonita Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014
jepegraphics Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014   Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch! Very much appreciated! :)
Odilicious Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch!:)
SingapuraStudio Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thank you so much for the watch! :)
Chrislor Featured By Owner May 10, 2012
Thanks for the fav!
JuvenyleChylde Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013
My pleasure! Love your work!
Stixanimated Featured By Owner May 10, 2012   Filmographer
Welcome to Fillion-Fans! If you create any Nathan related art don't be shy to submit!
Kath-13 Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
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