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About Deviant Brianna LeeUnited States Groups :iconmakes-her-a-home: Makes-Her-A-Home
 
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Honest is as honest does,
And I become what I always was.
Entombed in such presentiment.
Strong enough to pull me from the cement?

I know.  I know.

We see what's coming.  Coming.

We're all liars, in the streets,
And we keep lying between the sheets.
Shining grins through grand defeats,
We all keep playing through.
But, damn, I need something true.

When we see what's coming,  Coming,
Do we keep running?  Running?
Do we run our mouths, while we run in place?
Do the eyes
See the disguise,
Or the face?

I know.  I know.

We're all liars, in the streets,
And we keep lying between the sheets.
The front page faces don't know discrete;
We lead an extra life or two.
Just give me something true.


If honest is as honest does,
Can I become what I never was?
Entombed in this presentiment,
Can you chip me out of this sediment?

When we see what's coming,  Coming,
Do we keep running?  Running?
Do we run our mouths while standing still?
Does it sing?
Does it sting?
Does it kill?

We're all liars, in the streets,
And we keep lying between the sheets.
Play at advance, through sharp retreats,
And we both know I'm lying, too.
Please... give me something true.
Honest Is As Honest Does
A page from the Liar's Songbook
Loading...
I fell for the depth of you...
But I'm losing myself to the things you do.
Oh, all the things you do.  The things you'll do...

No.  Oh, no.

When was the last time... that you showed me any kindness?
I'm not talking about a pardon, a bow, a 'your highness.'
When was the last time... that you showed me any kindness,
Without your knife at my neck?  And that general lack of respect.

I threw myself upon your mercy.
Silly me.
To say you didn't spare me any
Falls short of the
Reality.

I love the depth of you.
I do.
I'm drawn to the sacred sinner I once knew.
I'm addicted to those moments you
Gave me just a drop of your kindness.
Just a drop, enough to hold me off...
Just a little bit of something soft...


When was the last time... that you showed me any kindness?
I'm not talking about a pardon, a bow, a 'your highness.'
When was the last time... that you showed me any kindness,
Without your knife and a threat?  And the glare that comes with your regret.

I love the depth of you,
I'm attracted to the worst in you,
I'm addicted to those moments you
Give me just a drop of your kindness.
Give me just a drop, to hold me off...
Just a little bit of something soft...

Oh.  Ohoh.

Slam my right hand on the table,
Held steadfast and stable,
While you play that game between my fingers,
With your own, or with your knife.
Steadying stances,
I kept taking chances,
For the glimmer
of those shimmer-ing
Eyes in my life.  

When was the last time... that you showed me... any kindness?
I'm not asking for a full pardon, a bow, a 'your hi-i-i-ighness.'
When was the last tiiiiime...  you sho-owed me any kindness,
Without your knife at my neck?  And that general lack of respect.

I love the depth of you,
I'm attracted to the worst in you,
I'm addicted to those moments you
Give me just a drop of your kindness.
Give me just a drop, to hold me off...
Just a little bit of something soft...
Between fixes,
This sickness
Will swallow me whole.
My blood's screaming
In the dreaming
Of what you stole...

Of what you can't offer.


I threw myself upon your mercy.
Silly me.
To say you wouldn't spare me any
Falls short of the
Reality.

I threw myself, I threw myself
From the highest window of you.
Order's lost
To your new year's frost:
The cost
I paid to love you.

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I tell myself a million things, to keep my head on straight.
I tell myself the things I need to hear.
Not a word is worth a damn, when it comes too late;
When it comes down to it, they're just nonsense in my ear.


I guess in part, I blame myself; I let you in.
But for my part, I fought like hell. I didn't let you win.
I tell myself a million things, but I digress.
Not a word is worth a damn, I guess.
These thoughts play in the cracking voice I'm using...
I guess there's no dignity in losing.


Thoughts hang heavy in the air, tonight.  
I choke on the ones that I breathe in.
I forgot the way to find the light.
The darkness cuts into my skin.
If these were dreams, I'd try to shake them off.
Recover as the morning comes.
I gasp, I stagger and begin to cough,
Around the ideas in my lungs.

I try to give the words- they're need to know,
And the ones that I need to bare.
I guess the bearing's all still up to me, so...
So go, oh, or stay, but I'll say beware.

Those eyes beg me to soften it with metaphor.
Don't ask to hear what you're not ready for.
My tongue paints portraits, but the meaning's lost on you.
The colours bleed as I guess I must, too.

Is this one poisonous?  I guess I'll take a sip.
Come, kiss the toxic droplet from my lip.
If these were dreams, I'd try to shake them off.
Recover in the morning light.
But there's a blurring of the line they walk,
Where wrong's synonymous with right.


I try to give the words you need to know,
And the ones that I need to bare.
I guess the bearing's all still up to me, so...
So go, oh, go, go on, now, keep it fair.

Those eyes beg me to soften it with metaphor.
Don't ask to hear what you're not ready for.
My tongue paints portraits, but the meaning's lost on ev'ryone.
The colours bleed, I guess what's done is done.


I guess in part, I blame myself; I let you in.
But for my part, I fought like hell. I didn't let you win.
I tell myself it matters, in the end of all this mess,
But it just isn't worth a damn, I guess.
And here I linger, broken, bleeding, bruising...
I guess there's no dignity in losing.
I Guess
A page from the Liar's Songbook
Loading...
Do we fear the little things that we are?
Do we go, but go only in so far?
Do we? Do you?

You want
What you want,
'Til you've got it.
You'd haunt,
And you'd flaunt
As you sought it.
And you fought it,
Once it was in your hand.
Aye, once at your command.

Who will you convince
That you're proper?
Call yourself a prince?
You're a pauper.
Miser with your heart.
Violence is your tender.
Called it from the start.
The Great Pretender.

Do we fear the little things that we are?
Do we go, but go only in so far?
Do we wear the masks of bravery,
But let fear tighten the bonds of slavery?
Do we? Do you?
I know you do.


You love
Like you leave,
In a hurry.
You shove  
Up your sleeve
Cards of worry.
Rain or flurry,
You'll play, as you see fit,
The very last of it.

Who will you convince
Your golden coffer
Isn't copper?
Call yourself a prince?
That broken offer.
You're a pauper.
Hero in the head,
But demands surrender.
Villain in the bed.
The Great Pretender.
The Great Pretender
A page from the Liar's Songbook
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Mature Content


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I cut myself open
To the memory
Of you touching me.
The calloused fingers,
Their touch, it lingers
On the bruises they command.
I cut myself open,
To bleed it free,
But all I see
Are the pain inducers,
Those slender bruisers,
To the knuckles, where they tie to the hand.


I keep thinking I'll see that face, around every corner.
Part of me is hoping, too.
I keep waiting for, keep waiting for, keep waiting for
The run-in that would run me through.

I walked through yesterday, unchanged.
I wore my smile, unchallenged, too.
Everything is burning and strange.
Everything is turning over, pushing through.


Providence perverted,
Reverent reverted,
'Til there's no where else to go.
I fall upon my face,
Into a place
I didn't want to go, again.
Trust up to your sun down,
Was tied up, and flung down
To a place I used to know.
There's no saving grace,
Inside that place
I didn't want to know, again.


A smile, a prod, a moaning,
And then weak atoning
Doesn't make right what was done.

A body as a bandage,
Cushioning a rampage,
Doesn't leave much when you're gone.


I keep thinking I'll see that face, around every corner.
Part of me keeps hoping, too.
There's a part of me that's waiting for, still waiting for
The run-in that would run me through.

I walked through yesterday,
Pretending to be unchanged.
I wore my smile, pretending
It was unchallenged, too.
Everything is burning,
Everything is strange.
Everything is turning
To a need I once knew.


I cut myself open
To the memory
Of you, inside of me.
Spitting words like vengeance,
In the touch, repentance,
And the eyes, and a smile which wields those charms.
I cut my binds, still hoping,
Yet here I sit,
Bound to it.
Oh, the ferocious man
Fucks the mind harder than
He ever could to the body in his arms.


I walked through yesterday, unchanged...
            Stop.
And I'm still waiting for
The other shoe to drop.
Open
A page from the Liar's Songbook
Loading...

deviantID

JuvenyleChylde
Brianna Lee
United States
Interests
Life is... crazy.  Good and bad.  I don't really know why I'm doing one of these.  Therapeutic, I suppose, and I was told I should, and I don't keep an lj, or anything else, so here goes. haha

Family/money, money/family.  The big struggles. Can't decide which is crazier, right now, but it's not all hectic.  Issues abound, and I feel like I'm drowning, with the family stuff, but child is healthy and brilliant, and that's a blessing.  Crafty, though, which is vexing.  Good with the bad.  Still no heat, but we're working on it.   My mom won't tell me when she runs out of meds, because I have to buy them, so now I'll have to take inventory of her pills.  That's a bit maddening.   And between my brother and my sister, and I don't really know what's going to happen next.  Here's hoping smooth sailing will happen, someday. <_____>


Health is... frustrating.  Chemo ward was less depressing than I thought it would be.  Everyone was really nice.  I got the blood thing mostly fixed.  As much as they could.  No one knows why I'm not getting better.   I have good days,  but I spend a week paying for them.  No one sees that, and I don't really talk about that. Or what's going on.  I didn't think I could.  Sometimes, I still can't.  Not all words are as easy to just say as others.   I don't know.  I keep thinking I'll wake up.  I keep saying I'm too young for this.  For any of it.   I try to stay positive, but I find I only ever get half way to saying it.   The concept of time and limit, it comes up a lot in my head.  I feel it in my chest.  It's heavy.  I don't like being scared, and I don't really know how to handle it, or admit it, or talk about it.  I don't know how to deal with people.  Or pain.   I don't know.  It's frightening, and constant, and I want to be stronger than it, but I'm running out of brave face.  

I miss connections, but sometimes, I think it's a one way thing, so I let it be.  It was a gradual period of discovery, for one source.  I think I knew it for a while, but one day, it became clear.  It was a hard thing to process.  Things get twisted, and reason gets twisted, everything just contorts into something unrecognizable.   Sometimes, I hardly recognize people.  

I missed everyone on here and on the thingies.  I couldn't get onto facespace or proboards, because I had no computer (and pb hates linux phones). Now, I have one, but I can't get on, because it crashes the whole machine.   Everything crashes it.  There are a small handful of sites that don't, and I don't know why that is.  Even my email crashes it.  It's really frustrating.  Massively insufficient ram.  But some bigger ram is coming in the mail, so in a week or two, when it comes, and gets put in for me, I'll be able to get back on.  I'm really looking forward to it, because I really miss everyone, and I feel just terrible for being unable to get on.  I should also be able to make pictures again (which also currently crashes the computer).  I'm excited, because with everything else going on, I need some happiness pie.  :)


I love you, Listener.  Thank you.
  • Listening to: my heart
  • Drinking: no, but I should be.

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:iconelectrico22:
electrico22 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2015
 I miss you brianna how are you and hope you are ok
pleaes awnser me pleaes!!!
Reply
:iconei9:
ei9 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2015
 thanks for the warm comments Brianna and look forward seeing more from you in the future. God loves you everyday of your life!
Reply
:iconjuvenylechylde:
JuvenyleChylde Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2015
Thank you!  You're an angel, and your comment makes me smile. :)
Reply
:iconsirenabonita:
sirenabonita Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014
:wave:
Reply
:iconjepegraphics:
jepegraphics Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014   Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch! Very much appreciated! :)
Reply
:iconodilicious:
Odilicious Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch!:)
Reply
:iconsingapurastudio:
SingapuraStudio Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thank you so much for the watch! :)
Reply
:iconchrislor:
Chrislor Featured By Owner May 10, 2012
Thanks for the fav!
Reply
:iconjuvenylechylde:
JuvenyleChylde Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013
My pleasure! Love your work!
Reply
:iconstixanimated:
Stixanimated Featured By Owner May 10, 2012   Filmographer
Welcome to Fillion-Fans! If you create any Nathan related art don't be shy to submit!
Reply
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